Tuesday, April 5, 2011

So, you're saying my language is vulgar, Mom?

This HV County Farmer's daughter had her own mother read her blog yesterday.

My first thought? Shit...........
My second thought? Shit.... Oh........ (the roledex in my mind starts running with all the times that I've cursed, offended someone, spoken my mind, and then cursed some more)...

Then again, my mother of all people knows how I feel about certain things and that I have been blessed with my father's wit and sarcasm and her gift of scribing it in a way that makes sense. I would consider this a blessing. She said that although she wishes I wouldn't use the vulgar level of language that I use at times, she really thinks that I should look into writing an editorial or column in a paper in SE Colorado when we move. Which was one of the highest compliments I have received, in recent times. I would give anything to be able to write full time. That wouldn't even really be "work" for me, I'd love it. Enjoy it. I think a column written from the perspective of someone who is moving to SE Colorado from living in Manhattan, Kansas for 10 years would be hi.la.ri.ous. And only partially offensive.

One aspect of that life that I am looking forward to is the decoration side of domestic life. All the women out there 1) believe accessories are KING (which is fine by me, as I love/adore/idolize good accessories 2) believe their homes are their temples and decorations are the foundation of their existence. It's as if "Better Homes and Gardens" or "Farm and Ranch Living" are camped outside waiting to do a 4 page spread on their homes. It's quite a stretch for a girl who grew up in a home that decoration consisted of the tacky 3rd grade art class pottery project gone wrong. In short, our home is not decorated with any specific theme. I worried that when Aaron first came home with me to HV County, that he'd think we grew up as paupers. Honestly, I knew he wouldn't think this; I just wondered it....... Our home is cozy. But everyone knows when you say "cozy", what you really mean is cramped and odd. However, when I say "cozy" in reference to my parents home, I really mean cozy and lived in. Really lived in.

If you want to see where we spent our "decoration" budget, just take a look outside at our ever-growing barn and the land that is listed under "Joe and Joann Bergkamp Farms". Needless to say, although Mom didn't spend much time analyzing themes for her rooms, home still is the best word there is (thank you, Laura Ingalls Wilder).

The funny thing? I cannot wait to make a run for that spread in Farm and Ranch Living with the 5903 crosses that I've registered for at the three greatest shops you'll ever see in Holly, Colorado. And the rooster accessories to boot. No, this ain't Johnson County. This is Prowers County class.

Look out SE Colorado: I'll be rocking your Ariat boots in T-minus two months.

Holy shit.