The paper? Done. The Final Activity Report? Done. The Group Processes Activity? Done. A semester of punching the clock and burning the candle at both ends? Nearly all but a wrapping.
So why do I feel...guilty?
I feel as though I could have done just a "bit" better on the paper. Or I could have dedicated just a bit more effort to the other two classes. Seriously? I know I could have put up a bit more effort in my classes or possibly done the readings for my 812 class for longer than the first two months. But seriously? I survived five months of being on campus for fourteen hours, two days/week. All the while, advising over four hundred students; not just any "students", but art students and running a department of 20 tenure track professors, countless graduate students, and about a jillion high school visits with annoying as hell parents. There were, of course, some nice parents who were, shocking, parents and not "friends" to their offsprings. Ahem.
To clarify: I HAD A FUCKING BUSY SEMESTER. However, amidst my discovery of my personal afflictions with insomnia and irritable bowel syndrome (both of which I credit to my fucking insane schedule and ability to stress out over walking across in a crosswalk), I made several other discoveries these past months. Allow me to digress
1) I absolutely love shows that deal with politics. Absolutely. And if they involve handsome cocky arrogant asses? I'll take two! "West Wing" was introduced to me by ajl and currently, we are in the middle of Season Five. And that show has to have the wittiest writing (with the exception of Ari Gold from "Entourage") I have seen and enjoyed. I firmly find Joshua Lyman scrumptious. If you want to really appreciate the hours of 8-5, watch the show. I find it has influenced my wardrobe to work, as of late.
2) "Eel lover" sushi puts a jig in my step. I tried sushi for the 1st time this semester (thank you Rebecca, my dear beautifully intelligent cousin) and have had it about 935 times since.
3) I'll forever color my hair a half shade darker than my natural (sorry, Mother).
4) You know those mothers that show off every single god damn picture of their children to anyone within 20 feet with two functioning eyeballs? And they truly believe their ET-look alike baby is a Precious Moments doll? I have had my moments this semester when I have morphed into that woman. However, I know he is the cutest and most attractive child in the world. He will become president one day, if only but of a Turkey Hunters Association group. He will be president one day.
5) Although many who know me would peg me for an "Attention Whore", I have my moments when I do not want the spot light. I'd prefer to stand behind someone, just for a moment.
6) It is possible to find someone who will respect you and not in the weird creepy way. There is someone who will call when they say they will and when you're not around, you know he is not texting, facebook chatting, and whatever stupid technology shit there is out there to some random girl. He is staying true. But you'll never wonder that, because you know he isn't. Your biggest worry is that he'll never fully understand how much you appreciate him and the beautiful blessing he has been to your life. And you know what? If you're reading this and are with someone or trying to get with someone and you've worried that he or she is playing your ass? You're just as dumb as he/she is, because you're being desperate enough to stick around. Raise your standard.
7) I will never understand parents who do everything for their children. They'll forever annoy the living shit out of me and I'll never forget certain names of my students that are incompetent and naive idiots. I have no issues giving my honest opinion of students when faculty inquire for feedback.
8) I curse too much. And I am honest too much. So, I guess you could say I'm extremely passionate about whatever it is I am talking about.
9) I do not see the need to have 95034 close friends or that many friends on facebook. I have my close friends (majority are either cousins or sisters) and I am fine with that. I have much more guy friends than girlfriends. Again, I am fine with that. I do not see the need to accept every "friend" request on facebook. Friend requests are just that "friends". If you do not know the name or story behind reason number 4, we are not friends. That is ok. I am sure you'll survive and I will, as well. There is a verse in the bible basically saying that people are in our lives for either reasons or seasons, etc. I have many people in my past that fall into one of those categories. I appreciate their influence in my life, however I do not constantly need them in my life.
10) I'll always be the bossy sister who tries to order the others around. I'll be the cruise director forever. And forever will pass the bill to Daddy.
11) God has my number and he is laying me down one helluva path.