Thursday, September 9, 2010

what do Lohon and I have in common

I am only prescription away from joining the likes of Lindsey Lohon (or is it "ay"... who the fuck cares) and Heath Leger (yes, I went there). I finally drug my heath insurance covered ass to my general doctor last week to see if I would be able to get on prescriptions for my sleeping issue. Allow me to demonstrate.

I have always had a sleeping problem, not so much waking up ever 4 hours, but falling asleep. I would lay in bed 1.5 to 2 hours tossing and turning and avoiding checking my clock to see how much time I would have wasted laying in bed. It was ridiculous. Seriously. When I did not get my sleep, oh hail mary, I would become a ravid pissed off emotional bitch. I would be "this close" to crying and tearing up over the littlest thing. For example, when I walked literally a mile to my car one day after work, only to discover that I left my keys in my office, I cried on the walk back to Willard Hall from Weber Hal. I cried. Over.walking. Seriously. Thank GOD, I'm a city girl in that I wear ridiculously big sunglasses, so no one could point and laugh at this dumbass who was CRYING over forgetting her keys.

So yes, I was an emotional wreck. I never get too emotional during "that time of the month", so I can sympathize with the whiny girls who are emotional wrecks during that time for them. Or at least my roommates, Aaron, and any of my students can. I can only imagine my emotional state if I were to have earned a speeding ticket during the days that I had 5-6 hours of sleep. I would have bawled. And then told the officer my life story.

Where was I? Oh, yeah- so I went to the doctor to see about sleeping medication. It didn't take him long to suggest a prescription of either Ambien, Lunesta, and something that started with an "R". He was explaining Ambien first and informed me that Ambien was the only one who offered a generic.


I told him "You can save your time, by stopping right there. I don't care if they use deer urine in it. If it's generic and no one has died on it and you've prescribed it before, I'll take an order of that."

He then did his job and told me that people have reported doing crazy shit while on Ambien, For example, making sandwiches and eating cereal, etc and then not remembering any of it in the morning. As Armon said when I told him that:

"That's a typical Saturday night for you."

Thanks bestie

Anyways. It's been amazing. I am falling asleep so quick now and I don't care if I happen to eat something after 7 pm. Usually, that would keep me up (or so I told myself). But I have to wonder/worry: what sort of side effects are going to pop up for me? I mean, I AM putting a chemical in my body to shut off my mind. There has to be something that's going to creep up and fuck with me. So now, I am over analyzing EVERYTHING that I'm feeling, etc.

The sore throat that seems to be creeping around my throat like a nasty heat rash or that painful burning between the thighs during a summer day? side effect

My insane good mood? side effect

My sore tight neck? side effect

OR perhaps the sore throat is because I yelled my voice off at the game on Saturday. OR my insane good mood is because my sister-from-another Jackie is coming up on Saturday for the game. And we're going to tailgate our ASSES off (and we have nice asses) then go to the Reckless Kelly concert @ Longhorns after. OR the sore neck is because I spent four damn hours in a fucking 15 passenger van for a recruitment event for the university yesterday.

But, of course, the world is out to get me so I have to blame it on something. And deer urine in a sleeping pill sounds like the perfect escape goat!

**enjoy the picture of me and jackie @ Fake Pattys 2010**

And I reserve the right to do jack shit tomorrow. It's basically gameday. Duh.